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A Tribute to a Life Taken Too Soon..Caylee Marie Anthony (Memorial Today)By exdiva69 on February 10, 2009 | No Comments
Today I write this blog post, with a heavy heart. Nothing pole fitness related today, just a tribute to a lil girl who lost her life, so disgustingly, so inconceivable, Caylee marie Anthony. An angel on earth, now an angel in heaven. I don’t watch much news, the stories, get me so deep, as I’m a very sensitive person, and I get too swept up in emotions, cause some of the things going on, everyday, all around me, are so atrocious I believe for my own sanity sake, I’m often better off left in the dark, cause I’m helpless anyhow, and I’ve already had my share of pain in this world, and my own losses’, so I don’t try to ever add to it, however this little girl, somehow crossed my path, news wise, I got into her story, she touched my heart from the very get go, and I couldn’t stop myself from following this story. I spend my mornings, editing tons of tutorials, getting things ready for my site, and also never missing a beat of news over on you tube, about this precious child.
Over 6 months of daily news, and 6 months of pain, twists and turns, 6 months of anger, and I’m not here to spread my outrage at the child’s mom, my own opinion, though shared by many, many, others, is just that, my personal opinion. I’m not here to bash Casey Anthony right now, ESPECIALLY when today is all about Caylee, and her memorial, HER closure, and she deserves it to be ALL about her, no anger, no bitterness, and even hatred, I’m pushing it all aside today, and with a heavy heart, I’m weeping for this child.NO child deserves to die. NO child deserves to hurt. To die in this way, is unspeakable, but knowing she’s up in heaven with God, and my own angels, I , and I hope her family to, take heart in the fact that she’s not in any pain, she’s happy, and healthy, and thriving. We might not know much about her life here on earth, certainly wasn’t born to the right person, but noone gets that choice, why God allows these things, is one question, I’ll have to ask him myself when I reach the gates one day, but knowing I’ll reunite with my lost loved ones, gives me strength to make it through everyday, so I hope the others who also care for this child, can look at it and find some acceptance and peace in that knowledge. In SOME way, it almost feels like she was one of my own, I’ve been so emerged in the case, I wish she HAD been mine, (thousands do), because she would have had a great life, but this was not meant to be. WHY? another question only God can answer. We don’t get to choose our parents…she commited no sins!
I truly believe every life has a purpose, no matter how short. No child is ever born in vain, there is always a reason. they touch people’s hearts, they change lives, in ways, you sometimes can’t always see, until hindsight kicks in. Time makes everything much clearer. They help you build strength and courage you never knew existed, and your time with them, no matter how short, is irreplaceable. The memories couldn’t be sold by me, for all of the money in the world. The feeling of loss, the hurt, does that ever go away? NO, but if you believe in the afterlife, and I surely do, I know I’ll reunite one day, and I no longer fear death like I used to, because I know this to be true, and it will be the sweetest day I’ve ever known. Do I have questions for God? yes many. BUT if I could go back and change the choices I made in loving , and caring, and fighting, hoping, yet failing, somehow someway, I still can’t see I would have done anything different, but maybe grieved and found some acceptance sooner, rather then the denial that ate at me for soo very long. That just KILLS YOU!
BUT this is about Caylee, sorry to get off track here, but she has helped ME so much in my own grieving process. Her life also helped a stranger, she never even got to know, (myself), and I’m so thankful to her for that. I’m one who can bury things until I burst and it’s not good, this case, has struck soo many cords, and I embrace Caylee and her precious life, because it has helped me, find a bit of closure in my own situations. I’m sure I’m one of MANY strangers, who never met her, also following the stories, whom have stories of their own, and feel the exact same way. My heart goes out to anyone who’s been through the imaginable, losing a child, and to lose one to murder, just UNFATHOMABLE.
I believe in justice..eventual justice for everyone whom does wrong in this world. Sometimes it MIGHT not happen in this life, but in the next, but what goes around will come around, one way or another, and Caylee will get that justice, and thankfully for her, I DO believe she won’t have to wait very long for it. IT will happen for her. If you ever want to watch this story, Nancy grace airs every night on CNN, but I prefer watching it on the channel (you tube) of torbenmiller2. A truly wonderful human being, with such a kind soul, that he uses a large chunk of his time, to serve the public (us) and provide us, with every bit of news, as it comes in, on this ever-evolving case, and to him I thank you. Click on his name if you are interested in viewing his channel, and learning more about Caylee Marie. Also The Nancy Grace link, if you would like more info, listed on their site about the case, including blogs, and show times, etc.
Today I light candles for you sweet angel. You’ll never be forgotten, and always will be loved, by people you never met, myself included, who feel as though they knew you well. REST IN PEACE!
Sorry, it really helps my soul to release my pain over this case, and over my own sorrows and tragedies. No matter what you’ve been through in life, my biggest advice is, never submerge it, deal with it, take it on, no matter how incredibly painful, cry as much as you need, talk to someone, you can’t bottle things up inside, and not just when you lose a child, but even losing a spouse, or a friend, or even losing a job now a days, is incredibly painful and hard, WHATEVER it is, don’t be afraid to cry, to think, to grieve, and to remember. You heal so much quicker, when you don’t hide from your emotions. You can keep running away from them for so long, but in the end, that eventually will cause you to burst, and it won’t be pretty, so, just CRY, let it all out, and if ANYONE ever needs a shoulder, I’ve been through most anything, but even things I don’t have experience with, I’m always an empathetic, PRIVATE ear, and a shoulder, to whomever may need one.
Goodbye sweet Caylee Marie Anthony! Your life will never be forgotten, and your spirit lives on, and always will!! 8/9/05- 6/16/08 (that’s the date they believe & we believe (from the board), she was taken into heaven’s arms. God bless you! Justice will prevail!
Now with a heavy heart, I continue now to edit my videos, and get the tutorials going, making them as GOOD as possible, and as thorough, and I’m really workin hard, thankfully I enjoy it:) (Not saying when I’m fully done, I won’t be relieved, lol, but will always be adding along the way), but I’ve gotten pretty far, so I must keep it up. I’ll have more time to chit chat and post more youtube vids, when things are mostly done. HOPEFULLY soon!
I’ll be back on a happier note another day, I just wanted to share, what was on my mind today, and remember the little girl with the most beautiful smile, aside from my own children, (but any mom would say that naturally), that I’ve ever seen. YOUR FREE NOW SWEETHEART! Rest in peace.
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My 1st Blog Post!By exdiva69 on January 17, 2009 | No Comments
from_internet_144 (Click here if you wanna hear a song while you read, It’s Break The Ice:)
COOL, my 1st blog entry, on my own site, that’s pretty wild:) So how is everybody doing today? Well I hope. Welp, today is January 17, 2009. Really busy today, so no time for pole dancing, I’m afraid, *sigh*, I will definitely try to get in a good session tomorrow morning. Since nothing much is goin on to really talk about on my end, nothing interesting, which is unusually ‘odd’ HA, (BTW- all my thanks to those who kept hubby in their thoughts on youtube, blood pressures have gone down on all ends, hehe), but anyhow, being that that is the case, (nothing exciting to report), I guess I’ll just talk a bit about the pole dancing ‘art’ to those who see this site, and really don’t know, what it’s ‘all about yet’.
Well, 1st off, it’s a wonderful way to keep yourself in top physical shape. Noone who pole dances will ever deny you that 1. Pole dancing builds muscle, it’s a definite form of strength training, so you should expect to look more sculpted, and in not much time, at that. It’s also an aerobic form of exercise. I don’t use it to lose weight, I’m never happy with myself, I can lose weight feel too thin, gain weight purposely, and feel fat, there is really no perfect ‘number’ that makes me happy, so I can’t say for me, if it helps to lose weight, in my case, but it does help your body and shape, for sure. Since it is aerobic, much like other aerobic forms of exercise you are burning calories, hence, you can lose weight from this form of exercise, I’ve heard many other women, who have, & some i’ve seen the results firsthand on youtube, so these are all the things i can truthfully announce here, but like i said, i can’t attest to myself, because i’m not big on the whole scale thing. lol. I don’t like #’s dictating my life, but other’s who pole dance sware it does help in that dept. You don’t have to be any particular shape or size to do this form of exercise, everybody is allowed, I’ve seen some girls whom are larger, REALLY work the pole like nobody’s business, so stigma’s are thrown out the window. No right size to start or to continue and even compete in this great sport. This exercise DEFINATELY turns fat into muscle, which will help kill the giggle, as you wiggle..ahhh the poet in me coming out, lol.Anyhow, the biggest thing I notice in my ‘mental’ life, is a definite LIFT. I’m not here writing to sell anyone on anything, I like to talk, and inform, and be REAL, so if you’re readin this it’s cause you choose to, so thank you for that, but all I can do is vouch for myself, and what pole dancing does for me, I can tell you what I hear from others, that they may agree with me, but I don’t put words in people’s mouth, for ME, mentally, I feel like I definitely have a bit more energy then I used to, require less sleep to feel ’sane’ lol, more ‘peppy’, deal with stressful situations a bit better then I had, which anything is a step up, I still get stressed, but if I hit the pole when I am in a stressed state, I notice almost an instant feeling of relief. Don’t take your anger and stress out on your man, or your mom, or even on yourself, which we know we ALL do, take it out on that pole!! It will work you wonders , and if you don’t believe me, you haven’t given it a go, have you?Admittedly, I’ve had a history of depression growing up etc, really hard life, and a lot of anxiety, so for me, the time I’ve spent poling, has really added up to extra years on my life, cause I was always a daily worrier, so I need constant stress relief, and this is the closest I’ve ever come to finding something that works. POLE DANCING…the ‘natural tranquilizer’. Again, only can speak for myself, but when I tell others how I describe pole dancing, as ‘therapy for the soul’ they couldn’t agree more, and I’ve been through regular therapy years back, I think I was wasting my money, I should have bought myself a pole. Now, over. ummm 30, geez that hurts, my daily, BIGGEST, regret, that is never, ever gonna go away, is my regret of not starting this sooner. I thought about it years ago, but the stigma was sooo widespread, that I failed to even think that there might be an online resource to simply ‘buying’ a indoor pole, I thought I’d need someone to do a custom job, someone who makes them for strip clubs or something. I brought it up to a friend in construction, and somehow let it go, thinking right now *IDIOT*, lol…now knowing those years ago, home poles were available, makes me CRAZY, cause I’d have so much time under my belt, and maybe extra years on my life span as well.BUT I digress…The stigma must become, and must stay BROKEN! Pole dancing, is not just for money making, I’m cool with whomever chooses to do it, and pass no judgement, I’ve always been a friend to all, but the entire planet needs to adopt this ‘open’ way of thinking. I believe we are headed there slowly. I can see it now…poling in the Olympics. I’ll be too old, but I’d love to watch someone here or on youtube, or both, that I know, runnin with the torch, representing their country at the Olympic games, and I don’t think it’s a matter of IF, but purely a matter of WHEN, in my own opinion. Heck if rhythmic gymnastics is an Olympic sport, I think this is even more beautiful, so why not?At any rate getting back to my original topic…what pole dancing will do for you, as per my experience only.. gives you energy, burns fat, builds muscle, releases stress, and definitely for me, provides mental clarity. the pole can be your best friend, or your punching bag to take your anger out on, either way, your benefiting your spirit, mind, and body, while not hurting someone else’s feelings or needing a pal to come out and talk to you , but she’s TOO busy, and your all alone, does that make any sense? I sure do hope so.I used to do gymnastics as a kid and teen, up until a bad accident at 16. I shouldn’t be typing this right now, but by the grace of God, somehow, and for some reason, I am. Since then, it’s been impossibly hard for me to find any exercise I would stick with. I tend to get bored and frustrated easily, and so I’d pick up a sport or hobby, and nothing intrigued me, like the gymnastics, I no longer could do. Everything else just didn’t cut it enough to keep the motivation coming, until I bought my pole. I’m certain hubby was thinking, ‘Ok there she goes making another expense, that will collect dust’, BUT HA ON YOU HONEY..this time, u be wrong:) The best investment I’ve ever bought for my own personal use, has been my pole. I remember saying I got my monies worth, less then 1 month in. I’ve never been this motivated, hard to imagine, cause it might just look like a big steel pole, but somehow it becomes soo much more. hard to describe, but I’m sure many can relate, if you’ve been there, done that. Never a day of regret about it, except like I said, not researching it more, so I could have started it, way, way sooner. I will never let that go, unfortunately.Soo, I’ll stop chewing your ear off today, and just finish with saying, THANKS for visiting this website, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do so, and to read this post, and I hope whether you’re thinking about poling, or are poling already, you feel like you have a friend out there in the poling community who supports your hobby. So many of us over on youtube, are supporters, there is no HATE, not negativity, just praise, and encouragement over there, so come and join us, if you haven’t already, and welcome aboard:)((HEART))Shelly
