Today I write this blog post, with a heavy heart.  Nothing pole fitness related today, just a tribute to a lil girl who lost her life, so disgustingly, so inconceivable, Caylee marie Anthony.  An angel on earth, now an angel in heaven.  I don’t watch much news, the stories, get me so deep, as I’m a very sensitive person, and I get too swept up in emotions, cause some of the things going on, everyday, all around me, are so atrocious I believe for my own sanity sake, I’m often better off left in the dark, cause I’m helpless anyhow, and I’ve already had my share of pain in this world, and my own losses’, so I don’t try to ever add to it, however this little girl, somehow crossed my path, news wise, I got into her story,  she touched my heart from the very get go, and I couldn’t stop myself from following this story.  I spend my mornings, editing tons of tutorials, getting things ready for my site, and also never missing a beat of news over on you tube, about this precious child.

      NO child deserves to die. NO child deserves to hurt. To die in this way, is unspeakable, but knowing she’s up in heaven with God, and my own angels, I , and I hope her family to, take heart in the fact that she’s not in any pain, she’s happy, and healthy, and thriving.  We might not know much about her life here on earth, certainly wasn’t born to the right person, but noone gets that choice, why God allows these things, is one question,  I’ll have to ask him myself when I reach the gates one day, but knowing I’ll reunite with my lost loved ones, gives me strength to make it through everyday, so I hope the others who also care for this child, can look at it and find some acceptance and peace in that knowledge.  In  SOME way, it almost feels like she was one of my own, I’ve been so emerged in the case, I wish she HAD been mine, (thousands do), because she would have had a great life, but this was not meant to be. WHY? another question only God can answer. We don’t get to choose our parents…she commited no sins!

     I truly believe every life has a purpose, no matter how short.  No child is ever born in vain, there is always a reason. they touch people’s hearts, they change lives, in ways, you sometimes can’t always see, until hindsight kicks in. Time makes everything much clearer.  They help you build strength and courage you never knew existed, and your time with them, no matter how short, is irreplaceable.  The memories couldn’t be sold by me, for all of the money in the world.  The feeling of loss, the hurt, does that ever go away?   NO, but if you believe in the afterlife, and I surely do, I know I’ll reunite one day, and I no longer fear death like I used to, because I know this to be true, and it will be the sweetest day I’ve ever known.  Do I have questions for God? yes many. BUT if I could go back and change the choices I made in loving , and caring, and fighting, hoping, yet failing, somehow someway, I still can’t see I would have done anything different, but maybe grieved and found some acceptance sooner, rather then the denial that ate at me for soo very long. That just KILLS YOU!

     BUT this is about Caylee, sorry to get off track here, but she has helped ME so much in my own grieving process. Her life also helped a stranger, she never even got to know, (myself), and I’m so thankful to her for that.   I’m one who can bury things until I burst and it’s not good, this case, has struck soo many cords, and I embrace Caylee and her precious life, because it has helped me, find a bit of closure in my own situations. I’m sure I’m one of MANY strangers, who never met her, also following the stories, whom have stories of their own, and feel the exact same way.  My heart goes out to anyone who’s been through the imaginable, losing a child, and to lose one to murder, just UNFATHOMABLE.

        I believe in justice..eventual justice for everyone whom does wrong in this world. Sometimes it MIGHT not happen in this life, but in the next, but what goes around will come around, one way or another, and Caylee will get that justice, and thankfully for her, I DO believe she won’t have to wait very long for it.  IT will happen for her. If you ever want to watch this story, Nancy grace airs every night on CNN, but I prefer watching it on the channel (you tube) of torbenmiller2.   A truly wonderful human being, with such a kind soul, that he uses a large chunk of his time, to serve the public (us) and provide us, with every bit of news, as it comes in, on this ever-evolving case, and to him I thank you. Click on his name if you are interested in viewing his channel, and learning more about Caylee Marie. Also The Nancy Grace link,  if you would like more info, listed on their site about the case, including blogs, and show times, etc.

 Today I light candles for you sweet angel.  You’ll never be forgotten, and always will be loved, by people you never met, myself included, who feel as though they knew you well.   REST IN PEACE! 

     Sorry, it really helps my soul to release my pain over this case, and over my own sorrows and tragedies.  No matter what you’ve been through in life, my biggest advice is, never submerge it, deal with it, take it on, no matter how incredibly painful, cry as much as you need, talk to someone, you can’t bottle things up inside, and not just when you lose a child, but even losing a spouse, or a friend, or even losing a job now a days, is incredibly painful and hard, WHATEVER it is, don’t be afraid to cry, to think, to grieve, and to remember. You heal so much quicker, when you don’t hide from your emotions. You can keep  running away from them for so long,  but in the end, that eventually will cause you to burst, and it won’t be pretty, so, just CRY, let it all out, and if ANYONE ever needs a shoulder, I’ve been through most anything, but even things I don’t have experience with, I’m always an empathetic, PRIVATE ear, and a shoulder, to whomever may need one.

     Goodbye sweet Caylee Marie Anthony!  Your life will never be forgotten, and your spirit lives on, and always will!!   8/9/05- 6/16/08  (that’s the date they believe & we believe (from the board), she was taken into heaven’s arms.  God bless you! Justice will prevail!

     Now with a heavy heart, I continue now to edit my videos, and get the tutorials going, making them as GOOD as possible, and as thorough, and I’m really workin hard, thankfully I enjoy it:)  (Not saying when I’m fully done, I won’t be relieved, lol, but will always be adding along the way), but I’ve gotten pretty far, so I must keep it up.  I’ll have more time to chit chat and post more youtube vids, when things are mostly done. HOPEFULLY soon!

    I’ll be back on a happier note another day, I just wanted to share, what was on my mind today, and remember the little girl with the most beautiful smile, aside from my own children, (but any mom would say that naturally),  that I’ve ever seen. YOUR FREE NOW SWEETHEART!  Rest in peace.

Hey everyone,